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Jun. 26th, 2006 | 03:56 pm
music: the Dresden Dolls ~ Girl Anachronism
posted by: beautifuldorian in omnisexuality

Okay, time for MY introduction post.

I'm Sarah, and I'm a nineteen year old female from Chicago, USA. I am technically a bisexual due to my willingness to fall in love with a member of either gender, but I consider myself asexual because I have no real interest in sexual contact with another person. So there's the enigma for you. Physically I am attracted to men; emotionally I am attracted to women, and it just never ends well.

So, yeah.

Anyway, let me pose a discussion question to you: What do you think is the reason people have abnormal sexuality? For the purpose of this discussion, I would like to define 'abnormal' as anything that is not strictly heterosexual. I want to see what you all think is the cause; are you for genetic inclination or personal choice, or what, and why? Make it interesting, folks, we can't stimulate each others' brains if we don't use our own.

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Comments {10}

the author in progress

from: schuldige_katze
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 04:50 am (UTC)

(i've never been in a community before, so I don't know if I'm putting this in the right spot...>_O)

Anywho, to answer your 'question,' I first have to go into my beliefs. (None of you have to accept this; it's just what I think at night before I go to bed.) I don't believe in 'God' in the traditional sense. I think that if there is a God, it's not an entity. It's the energy in EVERYTHING, all around, and it doesn't CONTROL, merely influence. Also, the big bang theory was correct, that it all started in a mad explosion; God had nothing to do with it. That being said, I don't believe in heaven and hell, either. I believe in reincarnation, and I think your soul goes where you think it'll go in between lives. If you believe in Heaven and Hell, and you believe that your soul will go to heaven after you die, maybe you spend some time in 'heaven' for a while, waiting. But souls aren't just out for one turn, they have lessons to learn just like children. So we live many lives, learning different lessons. Previous lives influence your present one - say you were a murderer in a past life, you would perhaps be 'punished' by being an abused child in this one. Nothing thats you're own fault - I believe that while the soul waits, it plans out what it will do in its next life. It decides who it will meet, and what it will do, and dictates how its life will be lead, so on and so forth. I don't know if souls have gender as we know it, but I do think that there is some inclination towards gender for the soul, because I know that I was meant to be a boy.

I have a story for you now (gotta make this interesting, after all...) I met a girl through a highschool friend of mine - the friend babysat the younger girl, and when I visited said friend, the girl (Rikku was the girl, and Draco was the friend) was usually with her. I felt uncommonly comfortable around Rikku, like I'd known her before, and she told me that she felt the same way. Like I was the elder sibling she never had. She told me that she'd had a brother. He was born a few years before I was (84, I think) but he never lived past childbirth. He was strangled in his own umbilical cord. I have personal faith that that boy was meant to be me. That my soul was meant to be that boy, but he died. What happened then was my soul, knowing it had to meet these people somehow, went to the next available body - that of a female child. When I was in the womb, the doctors thought I was a boy, and my parents prepared boy-stuff for the child, and I ended up being born a girl.

I think that thats the major factor in my sexual orientation. That my soul is 'male' and therefore, I'm attracted to females, despite being a girl physically. Apply that to the rest, and for whatever reason, I think that homosexuals are simply people with the opposite gendered souls. The same goes for transsexuals, crossdressers, etc.

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from: lotus_dynamic
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 08:53 am (UTC)

Hrm... very complicated topic...

I'm not sure that I believe there is a single reason. However, I don't really think it's a choice in the slightest. Why someone would choose a "lifestyle" that could get them ousted from society, abused, or worse is beyond me.

I think my reason is similar to Omi's (the person above me ^_^). I believe that there is "male" and "female" energy to things (which you could call a soul, I suppose), including people, and that "normal" people have energy that matches their physical gender, whereas those who are "abnormal" have the opposite energy, or a mix.

I, personally, am I mix. In some ways I feel very feminine, and in other ways, masculine. And actually, I think most people are a mix in one way or another, just mostly not in a way to influence their attraction. I think I just happen to have a more even mix. Though I think I'm more masculine than feminine.

But yeah, I think that would explain why there are crossdressers who are straight (because they have enough feminine energy to them to make them embrace the idea of feminine beauty, but not enough to make them attracted to men) and why there are tomboys, and transgendered people (who's energy is completely opposite to their physical self), and people all over the gender and sexuality spectrum.

Now, when I say "energy," I am referring to something akin to the concept of the soul, but since I really like Taoism, and the whole yin-yang thing, I like to think of it in terms of that. Some folks got more yin, some folks got more yang, and we just look for someone that has a mix that will compliment our own.

Like, I girls that are girly-looking but more masculine in nature, and when it comes to guys, I like them to be "pretty" and sensitive, and somewhat submissive. In either case, I prefer them to be older than me and taller than me (and I'm very small, so that's no problem anyway), because I like to be the "female," generally speaking, but I can easily be the "guy" no matter the gender (or "gender") of my partner.

Agh... too many quotation marks. >_<

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. X3

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Crazy Jane

from: beautifuldorian
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 01:47 pm (UTC)

Okay, so far we've got the basic statute of beliefs that:

Souls have a predilection of their own, due to their own balance between feminine and masculine aspects. So a person is born, someday going to make that choice, or someday going to be told it's a genetic flaw, or whatever.

Do we agree, then, that orientation is something that can't be fully discussed without first holding belief in the supernatural? (supernatural of ANY kind, including standard Christian beliefs.)

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from: lotus_dynamic
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 02:02 pm (UTC)

I don't know if I'd say you have to believe in the supernatural.

I think that's just the way I think, personally, because I'm flakey like that. I think there's got to be something scientific to it, I just have no idea what, and I was giving the best, though unintelligent, reasoning I could think of. XD

I'm sure there's something genetic about it, and psychological, and hormonal, and many other things as well.

I'm sure if I knew more about the clinical aspects of it, like I said to Tichan, I could probably form a better response. ^-^;;

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from: father_vinners
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 01:40 pm (UTC)

Whoo, look at all the soul beliefs. Since my SPIRITUAL beliefs mimics that of the previous entries, we'll leave that there.

BUT, I also put some of my sexual bellief in the actions previously done in your life and a physical malformation in the hormones.

I think part of it is also due to any abuse you may have received. It's been proven that children who have been sexually abused, (-coughcough-), tend to act in certain manners. Women at a young age that have reoccuring abuse tend to have thier sexual encounters to need to be almost abusive to be enjoyable and might become bipolar... Certain kinds of abuse have shown to cause a person to start down certains paths.

Now, I am NOT saying abuse always equals homosexuality, but in certain cases, it causes a higher outlook of gender confused people.

Also, it's obvious that hormones should play a part in it, some how. Doctors and scientists have found that SOME bisexual and homosexual have a abnormality in the amounts of hormones. Such was the male hormone (Or was it a female hormone?) at birth that caused the formation of a penis, but an unusual amount of FEMALE hormone that caused the boy to react to certain situations much LIKE a female.

Once again, not saying, "Oh, hey, look. So-n-so has female hormones, THAT'S why he's gay."

Lastly, there are instances when... medical problems arise and certains... tactics may cause sexual confusion. FOr instance, and this is a TRUE story. Two twins boys were born in Canada. The parents brought them to be circumsized and a mistake was made. While using a lazer to cut the flap, the doctor... TWITCHED and cut off TOO much of the baby penis. So, a decision was made, and surgery was performed to turn what was LEFT of the penis into a vagina. So, now they had a pair of twins, one girl, one boy. And they raised them, but the 'daughter' never felt whole. She liked girls and felt like a boy on the inside.

So, late in her life, her parents told her the truth and she had some surgery and became what she was meant to be.

So, I think there are a NUMBER of factors that create how a person feels, and these factors are made throughout a person's life.

I hope others don't KILL me for this.

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Crazy Jane

from: beautifuldorian
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 01:51 pm (UTC)

Actually, I think you've got something going there, because I was abused and as a result I have certain mental blocks and such and certain fetishes that I doubt I would have otherwise. (such as my tendency toward masochism, to enjoy being treated like shit.)

So you think it's more of... a result of things that happen in life, and the way your body develops, than some predestined decision your subconscious made while you weren't even born yet?

Haha, I WILL draw the line between evolution and environment yet. Can't have a decent debate of any kind withoutt people squalling over that one.

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from: father_vinners
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 02:07 pm (UTC)

Actually, like I said, I think it's a mixture.

I mean, we are complex people. To say simply that a single factor caused us to be what we are is preposterious. I think we are a single end result of many, MANY decisions and actions, all performed to us and performed by us.

I was sexually abused and cannot have certain things... done to me. Or talked about. And I do have an odd amount of fetishes, and certain thoughts about S&M... -cough.-

Nah, I also very much like the idea of soul mates. That we were created as two parts of a single being, some pairs maleXmale, some femaleXfemale, some maleXfemale. And theses parts were born to the world, searching in one way or another for the part of them that made them whole, or a person that closely fit.

-laughs.- Does that seem insane?

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Crazy Jane

from: beautifuldorian
date: Jun. 29th, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC)

When the earth was still flat, and clouds made of fire
And mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher
Folks roamed the earth like big rollin' kegs
they had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs
They had two faces peering out of one giant head
So they could watch around them as they talked while they read
And they never knew nothing of love
This was before... the origin of love.

and there was three sexes then
one that looked like two men glued up back to back
they were the children of the sun
and similar in shape and girth was the children of the earth
they looked like two girls rolled up in one
and the children of the moon was like a fork stuck on a spoon
they was part sun part earth part daughter part son

well the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance
and Thor said "i'm gonna kill them all with my hammer
like i killed the giants"
but Zeus said "no, you'd better let me
use my lightning like scissors
like i cut the legs off the whales, dinosaurs into lizards"
and then he grabbed up some bolts, he let out a laugh
said "i'll split them right down the middle
gonna cut them right up in half"
and the storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire

and then fire shot down from the sky in bolts
like shining blades of a knife
and it ripped right through the flesh
of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth
and some Indian god sewed the wound up to a hole
pulled around to our bellies to remind us the price we paid
and Osiris, and the gods of the nile gathered up a big storm
to blow a hurricane
to scatter us away
a flood of wind and rain, a sea of tidal waves
to wash us all away
and if we don't behave they'll cut us down again
and we'll be hopping 'round on one foot
and looking through one eye

the last time i saw you we had just split in two
he was looking at me, i was looking at you
you had a way so familiar i could not recognize
'cause you had blood on your face
i had blood in my eyes
but i could swear by your expression
that the pain down in your soul was the same
as the one down in mine
that's the pain
that cuts a straight line down through the heart
we call it love
we wrapped our arms around each other
tried to shove ourselves back together
we was making love, making love

it was a cold dark evening such a long time ago
when by the mighty hand of Jove
it was a sad story how we became lonely two-legged creatures
the story, the origin of love
that's the origin of love

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from: lotus_dynamic
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 01:57 pm (UTC)

I agree with you that there are physical and psychological factors at work as well. I was just what I believe is the case from my own personal experience, why I think I am the way I am. I have no extinuating cirumstances that would shape my gender identity in any way. Except, I do produce more "masculine" hormones.

And I know that because I actually had my sex hormones checked, when my last boyfriend demanded to know "what was wrong with me" because I'm asexual. And, it turns out that I have more testosterone, which means I actually should be MORE sexual. It's beyond my doctor why that is. She said it's "psychological issue." But really, it's not.

Also, I'm pretty sure I wasn't born with a penis. XD

I'm not too familiar with the actual scientific aspects of gender identity and sexuality and all that, but I suppose I ought to if I'm going to partake in intelligent conversation here.

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from: hawkeyeofelgin
date: Jun. 27th, 2006 10:04 pm (UTC)

indeed there are several factors, and for every person it's different, I for instence, was exposed to sexual things at a very young age, by a girl actualy younger then my, why she knew about this stuff, I have no clue, but it was only the fist of several sexual incounters when I was very young, some of which were... unwanted... and I also started looking at porn when I was 5, dont ask me why or how it worked out but by the time I was 7 it was an addiction... when puberty hit... I did some things that terrify me to this day, my sexualality is pretty set in stone as hetrosexual, but I am open minded enough to be in love with a man, if they are sweet/interesting enough, I have had one boyfriend as of yet, but... I have had many crushes, most of the time kept secret... to avoid persicusion... also I cant seem to break the habbit of secretly looking up porn and covering all my tracks, even though I dont need to any more.

oh and I beleive the proper wording for what you were trying to say is that people are complex, we are no more complex then any one else, it just takes longer to explain... all they have to say is yeah im straight.

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